The Mel Brooks movie, then Broadway musical, then a movie of a Broadway musical The Producers are the only such dramatic works I know of that were based primarily on a business model. The plot is a simple scam in three acts: 1) most Broadway musicals fail; 2) greedy investors in Broadway shows want a lot of equity for a little money, and; 3) since the show is likely to fail anyway, why not produce a deliberate turkey but make money (strictly for the producers) by selling 500 percent of the stock? Nobody will know they’ve been scammed because a deliberate failure will never pay any royalties. Except, of course, Springtime for Hitler was an unlikely smash hit. Well similar events take place in technology startups every day, though usually without the smash hit.
I believe there is a lot of fraud in high tech startups, 95 percent of which fail. With only a five percent chance of surviving, startups face a gauntlet of risks as described in this quote from uber-VC John Doerr in my show Nerds 2.01: A Brief History of the Internet:
“There are four categories of risk to look for in every project:
1) “People risk: How the team will work together. Because inevitably one of the founders does not work out and drops out.”
2) “Market risk: This is an incredibly expensive risk to remove. It is about whether the dogs will eat the dog food. Is there a market for this product? You do not want to be wrong about market risk.”
3) “Technical risk: This risk we are quite willing to take on. Whether or not we can make a pen computer that works, be the first to commercialize a web browser, or split the atom if you will. That technical risk is one we are comfortable trying to eliminate or take on.”
4) “Financial risk: If you have all of the preceding three risks right (people, market, and technical), can you then get the capital that you need to grow the business? Typically you can. There is plenty of capital to finance rapidly growing new technologies that are addressing large markets.”
Of course Doerr completely forgot to include fraud risk — that investors would simply have their money stolen.
You see sometimes the founder’s a schmuck.
Tech fraud happens all the time and those who are fooled include the most sophisticated investors (big shot VCs are not at all immune). Last year alone there were a pair of fraudulent startups uncovered that cost their investors more than $50 million each. Just think of the many frauds that aren’t caught or that are hidden in the books of VC firms, forced to merge into healthier portfolio companies to obscure the shame. Where’s the fiduciary responsibility in that?
Large or small, fraudulent startups all follow The Producers model — they count on the greed of their investors. Often there is a premise that makes no technical sense but sure sounds good. Take a flying car, for example: one of those has been raising money from private investors for almost 30 years with no return in sight. Why do people continue to invest? It just sounds so cool.
Rule #1: If it requires exceeding the speed of light for any reason, the business is probably a scam.
Investors in startups are supposed to be “qualified,” which under the Securities Exchange Act of 1934 means they are sophisticated investors with substantial assets — so many assets, in fact, that there is no need for society to protect them from fraud. That hardly describes Aunt Susie after she cashes-in her 401K to invest in your perpetual motion company, does it? Yet Susie gladly signed her stock purchase agreement which said she was prepared to lose it all. And she did.
Rule #2: Only invest in startups money you can truly afford to lose, because you probably will.
Due diligence is the process of an investor checking-out a possible investment. Is it really a good deal? Is the price right? Where does the opportunity sit on John Doerr’s risk list? Few individual investors, however, actually perform due diligence. They invest based on gut feelings and by reading documents sometimes created out of thin air by company founders.
Several years ago I lost what was for me a substantial amount of money investing in a financial patent startup. It looked great on paper, the only problem being that the paper was forged, simply made up. Nothing was as it seemed. The company’s books literally didn’t exist. So I sued, spending a lot more money, only to have the founders declare bankruptcy and walk away.
Rule #3: Don’t invest in something you don’t fully understand.
Giving engineers the benefit of the doubt I’d guess that 10-15 percent of startups are fraudulent to some degree. Some are outright scams while others are more misadventure — idiots playing with other people’s money.
If this is the case, then it surprises me that there aren’t many (any?) third-party companies that assess risk for private investors. A friend of mine once almost bought a web company that was a market leader with ever-increasing traffic, it seemed, no matter what the economy. Then it turned out those great numbers were guaranteed by a “black box” generating spoof hits as-needed. Advertisers were paying for those phantom clicks, and getting nothing for their money. Who uncovers activity like this?
I’m thinking maybe I will.
I’ve been thinking lately of offering an advisory service for potential investors in privately-held technology companies, analyzing in each case the five — yes FIVE — kinds of risk to see if that good deal really is good. It’s not that I am so smart but that I have very smart friends whom I can bring-in to do the real work.
Now what to call this new business? Maybe Chance-in-Hell.com, as in “Does this investment have a chance in Hell of succeeding?”
Or maybe Springtime for Cringely?
I like it.
What name would you choose? And what stories do you have of fraud at technology startups?
Hey! Can you send a “investor’s risk analysis” for your Springtime dor Cringely company? I have some money to invest… (in me!)
Good article. Thanks
Great Advice and article.
I invested in a company that i think has many of these traits:
https://www.google.com/finance?q=arr%3Aasx
Laser TVs just sound too cool.
I’m thinking will? Who’s Will? Who uncovers errors like this? I’m thinking *I* will.
You will, too?
Well I think it’s pretty obvious that SpinVox is one of these fifth risk companies.
Forget the advisory service, I want to see “Cringely the Musical”.
I’ll settle for Nerd TV. In fact I’ve been saving the audio of Cringely.com in a folder I (mis)designated “NTV” many years ago.
Rule #3 is a cornerstone of the investing strategy of Warren Buffett. Funny how many investors invest in things of which they have little or no knowledge……….or just enoough knowledge to be conned!
Come on, Bob. You can’t lob a grenade of accusation out there and then expect your readers to supply the explosives. Seems out-of-your-character to engage in such baiting. Fraud is a crime, crimes are publicly prosecuted. If you “believe there’s a lot of fraud” and that “tech fraud happens all the time,” you need to cite some specifics to make not just a credible case, but a case that any of us should even consider as credible. I’m disappointed.
I don’t find widespread fraud implausible in the least, having worked as a vendor for at least a dozen startups.
Remember Bob it was the partner who ran off with Ulla-Inga-Hansen-Benson-Yansen-Tallen-Hallen-Svaden-Swanson to Brazil. We’ll send you a postcard.
I made the mistake of investing in NerdTV season 2.
Yeah, Bob… where’s Nerd TV 2.0?
So, is this about that disk-drive-with-foil-platters idea?
my thoughts exactly
Bob, you’ve had the name for your advisory service for years now… iCringley!
You’ve been around since before the iMac, iPod, even the iRack:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOne9p-1btk
or anything other “i” Jobs might argue about so why not take advantage of the wave that’s already in motion?
Explaining Nonexistent Returns On Nothing
think that acronym is taken however,
so how about easier descriptives:
“CapZero”.
(with a sly nod to Mr Mostel)
dot com taken, but really you want a ccTLD from somewhere dogdy sounding for irony . .
trading name the same as your website, 1999 style: “www.invest.NO”
historical faux-name: “Bunk Brothers & Silver”
swipe at cash flow modelling: “Markov Reality”
in deference to failed soldier of fortune, Mr Mann: “Capital Outcomes”
with a sideline in extraordinary rendition for sham founders . . .
(in case anyone misses that, his first private military company was called “Executive Outcomes”)
along the psudo – military theme: “Reconnaisance Ventures”
and with apologies to Arthur Rock: “VenCRAP”
how about something literal: “Founder Discoveries” or “Promoter Insights”?
(good for newsletters)
(as a Brit, i notice culturally brits are adverse to plain speaking even when the obvious name is going to save a fortune in concept marketing)
suddenly i feel compelled to recall a very famous name which went bust: “Hope Brothers and Baring” (they financed the Luisana Purchase and went belly up on derivatives, see Mr Leeson) If i had unlimited funding i’d choose that just to giggle in the courtroom.
on a very british note, try: “9 Cork Street”. You have to look into the history of “Investors Overseas” to know that was their “head office” in Mayfair, and i myself, decades later was conned by someone using that address . . . I like the fact too that Investors Overseas was a Ponzi, and very active in the USA, started by lifting europe theater stationed GI’s paychecks . .
With a knowing nod to Mr Bernanke: “Financial Reserve”
accountant/attorney style: “Deal Discovery”
or simply: “Private Placement Profiles”
(running temporarily out of steam)
gotta stop . . . sometimes i do naming for a living – not that i’m asking anything and the above is just freeflow association – but because my late business partner and I loved scam histories in business and would spend happy silly, often inebriated hours inventing the best ironic names for madcap surefire – fail schemes. God rest his soul, but a flippant comment of his made me add my deferred payment of two cents to your article: Nick thought a great way to pull off innocense in a courtroom, if one really tried a scam that had half a chance, was to register as a journalist, and with the wide eyed naivety of a child, propose to the court that you’d hedged your investors by assigning book and serialisation rights to the shares. (in the UK, fraud requires proof of criminal intent, a sufficient hurdle that, well, the Serious Fraud Office is but an invitation to try). Stopping because no-one i knew before since had the mischeivous but real business insight as he did to make such fun of it all, and i’m getting emotional.
Genuinely though, i could go on and on and on with names. If i was doing this for real, i’d be reading Dickens, and even Neiderhoffer’s “Education Of A Speculator” for stories of the deprivation, penury, ruin and loneliness that truly result from so many “business ventures”. I would think hard, find the most resonant terrible outcome, and find a inverse to it. These days you really want to promote safety and protection as primary concepts to your customers. The marble columns of the banks have fallen, and apocryphally i have always said that the etymology of “bankrupt” is self description 🙂
(along that line, i always thought that “Scottish Widows” had enormous resonance for a insurance company)
Please accept a thank – you from me for all the articles of yours i’ve enjoyed and been enlightened by.
all best,
– john
What a great post! A free-ranging discourse on faux naming with pathos and whimsy into the bargain. Thanks!
Surely there is a novel in you man!
For Simon and Tokind,
thank you!
For Tokind especially, my late partner’s real plan was to write the book before we ever did any business. That way, he’d say, we could calculate our risks.
I am convinced therefore that one of the reasons we didn’t do as much business as we might was boredom. We already wrote the script 🙂
Plays nicely on how we all like to read a good adventure or thriller, but the authors are really mixing up our frail predictability.
Let’s say you have one really smart guy in a room, and he’s restless creatively, so you parse so many possibilities you almost come to a standstill. That was my friend.
Nick’s real contribution to my business life was this: forget actually trading products or commodities, in the end, we are all consumed by what we do. So, cut the crap and just set up with a small advert in the papers saying you buy and sell mens’ souls.
Now that’s a plan. I figure someone got there before us however . . . and they’re cheating.
Thank you both for your comments, i dearly miss genuinely absurd conversation, where silliness could be felt to be relevant.
– john
Bob – Good idea. The problem is broader, though. What about all those wannabe small business folk who think they can make a go of a new restaurant in a location where N others have tried and failed over the last M years?
Do people just have so much greed? Or is it that they don’t understand the idea of risk at all?
A lot of it must come down to plain innumeracy, helped by avarice and the triumph of hope over experience.
Classically, the brakes were supposed to be applied by your local banker, who would not fund you unless you had a believable business plan. But we know how well that’s been working lately.
Cheers,
–Martin
Hi Martin,
you forget the model for banks is they only make money when the Hit Fits The Shan.
The whole idea of lending is that over average term before bankruptcy you’ve charged enough covering interest to take the capital loss on the dead beats.
Then, of course, in much of the world – UK I’m looking at you – being made bankrupt is a very effective process of putting someone on the street. Unlike the US, your home is not in any way protected, just your work shirt and tools – literally.
To make sure we’re all fearful, the dreaded power of credit ratings is imposed. You get charged more for your utility supply according to records which are effectively unchallengable.
The only person ever to make a stand against retrospective credit evaluation was Mike Milken, and he hit the slammer, not because of wrongdoing (charges were unbelievably minor and effective only by Guilani’s vindictive deployment of RICO, sorted on appeal, most forget) but because he upset the applecart.
In Italy, not very long ago, if you failed a payment, not only you, but your descendants were barred forever from the banking system.
The only good thing about debtor’s prison in the UK was the lendors were required to pay for your housing, so they might relent. (my namesake and relative was a famous entrepreneur – jailor of that age)
In Sure And Certain Hope.
Insure and certainly hope.
A Roman Catholic, i love that burial intonation. (first of the two naturally)
Humans, we deceive ourselves, it is our Wont.
You say “classically the brakes were applied by your local banker”.
Too true.
My Pop de facto ran the biggest UK Thrift post-war. By accident, really, almost deserving some proper recording.
Born two decades before the Depression, Pop’s idea of credit control was to hang about the street where a potential mortgagee lived, note the comings and goings, visit the borrower’s home and see what the keep was like. Were they neat and tidy, did the husband frequent the local boozer?
Such simple observations meant he lost few debts to dead beats, and surely encoraged his superiors to note his existence.
Numbers on a book are always wrong, statistically and morally, unless they arise from a genuine proposition.
“But we know how well that’s been working lately.”
Dear Sir,
that has been the case for more than a lifetime, by the mark of the generation largely in control of such things presently.
It is the failing of their elders which has brought this about: too many experienced real horror in the last war, and determined they should never see such things again.
Is it a personal failing to wish never to see the dark side of life again?
Is it a terrorisation of our souls to remember destruction?
Lest We Forget might be recalibrated to recall the bread – lines, to good effect.
Failing levity, how about a company name with resonance of that turbulent pre – war age: “Extraordinary League Of Investors”?
“Or is it that they don’t understand the idea of risk at all? ”
We are preprogrammed to discount risk so heavily in our formative years that the meme of provided safety is the political succour of our infirmity.
These questions you ask, rhetorically i understand, are best asked of your children. Generations do not turn on a sixpence, nor abandon the images of their childhood.
Appreciated very much your comment,
– john
Is it just me or… huh?
I guess there is ‘stream-of-consciousness’ and, evidently, ‘random-churning-of-consciousness’
Seriously, Bob has a decent idea. I suspect the egos of many professional investors would get in the way of them reaching out for the Cringely Due Diligence Service, but that does not detract from the need for, or the quality of the idea, just its prospects in the marketplace.
For M.G. Stevens,
yeah, stream of rubbish mainly from me, that was the whole idea!
but see my other posts . . .
the answer to your putation is simple. If there’s egos involved, sell them something that allows them to keep their egos intact. Insurance.
It’s how you describe it.
And in the way i suggested elsewhere in this discussion, you could hide it too.
Which is the way of most good ideas. They’re obvious when you discover them because, well, you found out but it wasn’t on your radar before.
“but that does not detract from the need for, or the quality of the idea, just its prospects in the marketplace.”
i was discussing – in lax abstract – the very same thing: chances in the marketplace.
all best,
– john
Time to invest in the Flux Capacitor.
NuNu,
you mean with a company called “DealOrigin”?
sorry, that was bad. Must try harder . . .
– john
Bob,
If you really wanted to break new ground as a journalist why not interview some professional VCs and offer more than personal anecdotes? As anyone knows scamming is the second oldest profession in this world and at least with the oldest profession the buyer can make a visual determination if the goods for sale are worth the money.
The uncertainty and obfuscation of technology makes the industry ripe for fraud and outright hoaxes. What makes technology investing, particularly in the early stage, all the more confounding is absolutely no one knows how the market will respond to innovation. In most cases founders probably truly believe they are developing something of unique value. Whether or not this is true can only be determined after the investment is made. That earnestness sells makes it all the easier for fraudsters to operate.
“As anyone knows scamming is the second oldest profession in this world and at least with the oldest profession the buyer can make a visual determination if the goods for sale are worth the money.”
Sir, i think you might find that the choice is largely in the mind, before one walks Gropecunt Street.
(a historical english street name)
the oldest profession is merely diversion of avarice. You may parade the whores, but my decision to invest myself is then already taken.
When it comes to investing in business however, beauty parades mock the existence of absolutes. Mr Cringely proposes he will intervene, caped no doubt, and cry “thou shall not!”.
He may save your soul, but his strategem is the like of defaming a woman as a man. Even the disease – ridden pretenders will find argument to sue.
In calling bluff, you do just that. You halt the carousel. Relativism fails. Definition is down to the line. Someone has to be an outright fraud to be a fraud.
Companies that actually do this kind of dilligence, Kroll is but one obvious choice, existed in the murky depths for long, arose from and courted powers, bowed their heads. How do you advertise you are “in the know” without inviting scrutiny as to your silliest of misdemeanors? Advice forthcoming from advisors is always in code. Metrics have to be retrospectively provable. The rest surely is in confidence, and so you have to be confident your customer will not distribute, else claims will be made.
So begins the dance. I’ll rejoin when i’ve thought beyond some of this apparent futility.
– john
John,
I agree with you although it was not clear to me whether Bob desires a public solution to malinvestment or just a personal one.
Hi Dan,
i did some time in advertising. The kind that gets you mental tatoos 🙂
So, let’s recall that anecdotally half of every ad budget is wasted, but which half?
And here in investing, the figure for wasted surely is much much higher.
So all we need is a matching funds outfit to dig the truth out of every startup!
Oh, but then there are real rogues in their personal life who can be very good in business, so we have, erm, a prahblemme. Oops.
Wish i could remember who said this, but it was some old hand in Formula One racing cars, who – on hearing a team had been set up with the sole intention of smuggling cocaine in the chassis tubes – noted, something along the lines of: “real criminals are nice guys in business – something deep makes them want to go straight, prove themselves”.
Let’s say Bob wants a neat private solution. There are lots of those at a fractional cost of any investment above the price of a really nice but still modest house.
Let’s say Bob wants a public, generaized solution. He just painted “Kick Me” on his backside.
The first is do-able. The second is a total challenge. If you’re a journo or author, the fun in this is you don’t have any skin in the game. Like i mentioned what my late partner said, that’s good cover. In criminal slang in UK, disguise is called “smother”.
So, the second challenge looks like what Bob wants, in his heart. What he doesn’t want – nor you or I neither – is the comeback.
But when you have vested interests, the “comeback” precedes the action.
Again, and wow please forgive me for this personal slant, when Nick, my late business partner effectively schooled me in how to survive, misdirection was key to any story he told.
Thus, you want to mess with VC guys. So the only way to do that is to participate. In Court, you get the chance to say anything without fear of libel.
You set up a reinsurance captive, offering policies against the first – loss tranche of round 2 or round 3 investments, loss being defined by write – downs on participation when more money is called in to dilute (let’s allow most bad ideas are culled by round 1, and after that perception is a bit skewed if you are earlier committed). By that you have a claim, and by that you hear what’s going on.
So, instead of 50:50 (“US vs. Them”), “they invest” versus “we protect” you get to sell protection to those who are at risk, and you become their moral insurance – as in: “Holy Cow! These guys pridde themselves on spotting grifters and they underwrote our first loss, how could they screw up?”
You live instead on that margin, the income from your protection racket, not capital. Capital is just last – ditch reserve.
And you get paid for it.
So you have recurring income to hire and pay your counsel.
More fun: you just mirrored how most of bankassurance works, and won.
Now, the least common resource is going to be talented litigators who do not have the opportunity, after they nail some profile Perps, to just pick up work outside your business.
Kamikaze Buisness Insurance. (for your enthusaistic attorneys, that is)
I suggest you find a nice New Bermuda to set up the company!!
p.s., and this is a wierd one, i spent months talking to attorney friends as to the feasibility of something really similar. What’s the catch? Well, same as any war, when it gets dirty, you end up with the morals of your assailant. It aint nice, and you don’t ride this one all the way to Heaven. You have to understand i was in great company, we all saw the sticky end, which was never going to be a thing we did, but there did exist a few routes to that end.
So which one is it Bawb?
Kidding, of course, but Dan you made the right call to ask . .
– john
What about the CrunchPad affair?
https://www.techcrunch.com/2009/11/30/crunchpad-end/
I think that this is a great idea. The bond market has rating agencies so why not private equity? How about Sherlock Capital or Private Detective Equity as a name? As far as slim shady behavior by “tech” companies goes, I would submit Vois.com as a prime candidate.
http://davisfreeberg.com/2009/07/09/voiscom-golden-melody-or-laryngitis/
For Davis Freeburg,
you might look up why Drexel Burnham Lambert had a winner for a while, as to why not a ratings agency for startups.
My Lord! Why not see any of the reporting as to how the big ratings companies hid catastrophic changes from the market for months, even after the horse had bolted the gate just two years ago?
By definition, a startup ratings agency has to be forward looking. I can see the fun to be had with legal disclaimers here.
being argumentative, rather than informative, forgive me if you can.
– john
No argument by me that the rating agencies blew things big time, but that situation is a little bit different because the agencies were given a blessing by the SEC that protected them from competition. Cringely wouldn’t have this kind of barrier to entry so it would be his reputation that people were actually buying. Legal disclaimers aside, he knows enough people in the tech community that many angels and VC investors would probably benefit from him looking over an operation. It doesn’t mean that there aren’t some “analyst” out there who issue bogus opinions on frauds, it just means that Cringely’s stamp of approval would probably carry more weight than many of the firms addressing this market today.
Hi Davis,
nice rejoin!
Did the ratings guys blow it?
Better to ask how the SEC came to be. At request of the surviving brokers in ’31.
Merton had a speech, forget which book it was recorded in, in which he noted the play between US regulators was because of their consituencies. They remain paid by the participants. Like a ball game decided by the hitters.
So, in my view. Moody et.al. didn’t blow it, they just did their job. Who pays the piper. No tears.
What Congress did by mandating a few of those agencies as “responsible” in law is a much wierder thing, but it came from the behest of the securities industry which said “regulate us please, so we may be considered saved”, and so was passed in the same generosity of spirit.
Moral Hazard [sic] exists the moment any party suggests they can relieve you of unpredictable pain. That is why, i understand, in rural China, doctors are paid only when you are well.
In direct response to your comment, where you note corectly that Mr Cringlely would be well placed to conduct useful informative inspections of companies, i have bring up a new idea. If you base the substantiation on one man, who has written before how he dismissed and missed succesful startups, you invite invective.
We are all biased towards “clean hands” and “track record”. I don’t think we have a mechanism for dealing with observations that come from failure.
I’m driving at something different, which i’ll try to make apparent a bit later, have i time. What i really think is we need a faster route to trial of facts. The first hurdle anyone experiences is costs, and well, when you’ve been had, you’re likely short of funds.
Regards “stamps of approval” i think the best thing to note is relativity, and as i suggested above, there’s no relativity in a scam, you’re bound to loose. So being better and better informed is not a proposition even for the most seasoned of experts, who we discuss here.
Entry is easy. Mr Cringlely merely has to write. Exit, however, is what matters. Exit means we collect our pensions.
still looking for the upside in this!
– john
Those bond rating agencies sure worked swell. Only after the housing bubble popped did they bother to ask who was going to pay off the debt secured by those bonds.
Condensation Consulting: We smoke out the vapor, so you don’t get gassed.
Maybe start-up business plans need to be peer-reviewed just like all of the climate change journal articles – peer review works really well in academia!
Hi ADub,
really?
i thought most peer reviewed journals existed to set up a barrier so that authors begged to pay to have their copyrights taken and printed by a handful of “academic” publishers who sometimes dish out a few janitorial expenses to their concubine editors.
That review barrier is simply this, you get no credit for self – publishing, even though that act probably gets you more reviewers, considering even basic but well cited journals can cost 2-3 thousand dollars a year to subscribe.
It’s easy to con the intelligent. They aint smart.
Works. For whom?
– john
My Dad often said, you can’t cheat and honest man who makes and honest living. Getting something for little or no effort, will most times get you in trouble.
Tell that to my grandfather who lost thousands of dollars because he was getting a 0.25% more in a bank that went bankrupt before they had FDIC.
A couple comments. I know a guy who was CEO of a major internet story — a company that grew huge (you have heard of it) and then blew up in a way that was not predictable at the start: what I’m saying is that he might have been a billionaire and the thing that prevented it was neither execution failure nor competition. This guy has since then been involved in a series of fraudulent companies. Why do I say this? He misrepresents virtually everything about the companies. I am a former M&A banker and I know what financial fraud looks like. He represents his companies as being 2 funded years farther along then they actually are, he represents people as staff who have only suggested that they might work for him if he could pay them, but he can’t so why are we even talking? From a strict, technical definition, probably 80% of start-ups raise money through fraud. Technical challenges are represented as solved even though they haven’t even been modeled let alone built. For example, Twitter’s failure to scale well even today was almost certainly not acknowledged during any funding round; I would guess that Twitter’s management has represented scaling issues as either solved or that the solution was known.
Second, entrepreneurs need to be very careful about appearing to be making a public offering. Third-party evaluators run a serious risk of promoting an unregistered offering should they offer an opinion on a company that is in any way connected with a stock offering. These things are very touchy subjects with the SEC and investors can destroy companies that make one wrong step. For example, the use of an intermediary who fits any of the criteria that require SEC registration (e.g., see the Paul Anka No Action Letter) create a situation where the investor can, at a minimum, require that their stock be redeemed for the purchase price. This is terrible for management — they may have a personal obligation to refund an investor’s money in the event of failure. DO NOT start a angel/venture company evaluation service (and don’t hire one) without talking to a good attorney. Don’t talk to your friend the securities lawyer, talk to either a securities litigator or a specialist in broker-dealer registration.
Now here is a way to make money from information. Maybe Rupert Murdoch could learn something from reading this column (which is still free btw).
How about smoke-and-mirrors.com?
Doesn’t Mr. Monash already own that business??????????
Bob,
You are completely correct about fraud. I’ve worked for 2 start-ups that were total frauds. They’re pretty easy to spot now after having seen the way they operate from the inside. I’m not so sure how easy they are to spot from the outside. The founders were all very accomplished con men.
I will say this – if the founder’s background is in sales (especially insurance, cars, or yellow pages) and they’re trying to start a technology company, they are probably not the right team to fund.
Here’s some of what I’ve learned –
Bad sign #1 – Founders hire all their friends and family at high salaries for positions they are not qualified for.
For example, the brother who was a truck driver being hired as a web developer. Or the founder’s daughter’s fiancé who was hired as a VP of sales for a region of the country where the company had no presence and no way to sell into. And my favorite, the VP of biz dev that works from home in some far off city that’s always “about to close a big deal” but never does.
Bad sign #2 – Founders treat investors money like it’s revenue and/or their own money.
Company cars for executives are my favorite example of this, as well as the hiring decisions above.
Bad sign #3 – Lying about traffic figures and partnerships with big companies that are “about to come to fruition.”
Most big companies don’t like to do deals with unproven start-ups. So odds are they don’t have a deal in the works. Just because their biz dev guy left a voicemail for someone at Microsoft or Google doesn’t mean they’re “working on a deal’ with them.
Tip – For anybody out there being told to do or say these things, now’s the time to quit. If you don’t, you’ll end up working for a company that runs out of money and owes you back pay and expenses, which you’ll never get.
So, yes Bob, there is a problem and there is a need to help investors mitigate that problem.
You want examples? How about GlobeTel/Sanswire and their stratellites?
I can’t believe nobody has mention Paul Graham, of the Y Combinator. Go to his website and read some of his many essays about founding startups.
I once worked for a software development company that got taken over by venture capitalists: The code base was complex Java, the customers locked in.
The VC’s fired all the staff, replacing them with one or two cheap Oracle Forms (?!) developers, and continued to bill the customers for ongoing “support”, “maintenance” and “development”. A year or two on the company looked to have great financial figures, and the VC’s flipped it on for great profit.
IMHO the innocent buyers got an absolutely rotten apple requiring massive capital injections, with deeply unhappy customers…
After reading these comments, it may be interesting to put things in the context of the problems that led to our current economic crisis.
In the financial world the credit ratings firms provided a service intended to measure risk and help their clients reduce their loses. There were so many deals and so much business and so much pressure they started giving everything a good rating.
Bob and friends could set up a consulting business to help the VC’s. It could be a very good service. If recent history has taught us anything — if there is a temptation to make big bucks easily, firms will ignore any advice to the contrary. They are likely to pressure their consultants to bless their investment ideas.
Bob’s idea will work perfectly until the next get-rich-quick scheme comes along.
There are many firms who can’t get the capital they need to expand and grow. If I were a VC and had excess funds to invest, I’d find some safe, established, mature businesses that could use a cash infusion to grow. Entrepreneur’s are not the only people who can have good ideas. There are many good ideas locked up in good firms looking for a way to get out. The VC’s could help the process.
If I were a VC and had excess funds to invest, I’d find some safe, established, mature businesses that could use a cash infusion to grow.
If you an investor why use a VC to do invest in a mature business? Why not just invest in a public company and avoid paying the VC their large fees? The reason is that VCs such as Sequoia and Berkshire Hathaway are worth their weight in gold is that they’re able to separate the tares from the wheat.
Where Bob has a chance to stand out that he could certify certain businesses. If it doesn’t have the Cringely seal of approval, just don’t invest there. If other businesses give the charlatans a pass, well just don’t invest in a company without the Bob seal.
Anyone can invest in a public company. The people who invest with VC’s want a better return for their money. One would hope VC’s have the ability to spot really good business ideas and opportunities. There is more than one place to find those ideas and opportunities. A startup firm or entrepreneur is not the only place. My suggestion was for VC’s to look in other places too.
“How to Succeed in Business With Out Really Trying” also nailed the business paradigm.
[…] Shared Three Simple Rules for Stealing My Money. […]
Almost ten years ago I invested in a company called Burst.com.
They promised “faster-than-real-time-streaming,” which breaks Rule #1.
I didn’t need the money I invested, so I was okay on Rule #2.
As for Rule #3, I’m not nerd enough to understand the tech so I just took the advice of a smart fella named Bob Cringely, who felt that they had patents that were worth a lot more than their market cap.
Any guess how this story ends?
(To be fair though, Cringely advised me to buy Apple in 2000, and that more than covers my losses. I still love you Bob. Just saying….)
Axiom #1 – Fast Exit after the Top of the World Ma moment.
Many legitimate startups once they do “make it” legitimately often have a top executive or key player suddenly cash out and go to the next opportunity. This is different basis than rule #1.
Fast moving companies rarely have had the time to absorb the key aspects of the company’s invention or service so when a key player goes, the investment rapidly devolves into a hollow idea or service as the company no longer has “full possession” of what it was to be. You got the pony for your birthday when you didn’t get a stable manager.
Some names for your new venture, Bob.
Snake Oil Consulting
Out of Thin Air, Inc.
Imaginary Riches, Ltd.
Second Chance Ventures
Death Spiral Investigations.
Sorry, Bob.
I meant, Second Chance Vultures.
Charles,
a throwaway:
Well Tested Finance
or,
WTF.com
any good?
wtf.com is taken. and quite funny.
I went to the WTF.com website. It was fairly raunchy, as you would expect.
YouDoDiligence (.com) is available. So how do I invest? Waiiiiit a minute…
Is this Cringely.com or John.com?
Bingo! If only there were some way to collapse certain comments…
Isn’t the VC suppose to be doing due diligence?
The problem is that if there are real crooks, they’ll figure out a way to get around the due diligence. Want to see the source docs? No problem, I’ll print them up right now. Need to talk to a customer? I’ll find someone… I mean, I’ll find one you can talk to.
There’s an excellent Planet Money Podcast interviewing Sam Antar. Who is Sam Antar? He’s the brother of Eddie Antar. Still doesn’t ring a bell. Eddie Antar was better known as Crazy Eddie. Sam Antar was the CFO of Crazy Eddie’s, and was the one who blew the whistle.
https://www.npr.org/blogs/money/2009/08/into_the_mind_of_a_financial_c.html
Bob, in some ways the service you describe is similar to what the US govt does with something called a SETA (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Systems_Engineering_and_Technical_Assistance)
There are numerous companies which specialize in providing this type of service however it would seem that VC’s don’t bother to make use of them.
like a moon shot. . . ?
>>>Large or small, fraudulent startups all follow The Producers model — they count on the greed of their investors. Often there is a premise that makes no technical sense but sure sounds good. Take a flying car, for example: one of those has been raising money from private investors for almost 30 years with no return in sight. Why do people continue to invest? It just sounds so cool.>>>
Bob!
[no particular order]
* “…95 percent of which fail. With only a five percent chance of surviving, …”
Years ago when I was a tech in research at Rohm & Haas, they only expected 5% (maybe) of the ongoing projects to yield something that would become a pay day (and underwrite the rest of the “failed” efforts).
* For all of the times you have accused IBM management of being blind and stupid (your project can be a total failure, but you can get a ‘1’ for performance), why are you picking on start ups?
* The best university-based scientists do the research for the next grant on today’s grant, which is why their peers are confident of the likely outcome for certain super star’s proposals.
* There’s an old saying in Arabic (roughly translated):
in the night there is one ghost and a 1,000 thieves
* There’s an old Egyptian Arabic saying:
on the outside it looks like marble, but the inside is full of rubble (shit)
* I admire your altruism to make the world safer for the nest egg of old ladies (and the rest of us).
How about: Cringely’s Stingy Review (CSR)
What is your renewable competitive advantage?
That should be sustainable competitive advantage. Oh well.
Bob,
You have *great* taste in movies.
The 2005 movie of the Broadway musical was, in my opinion, the greatest movie ever. Even better than the 1968 original. Though, I must admit, nobody other than Gene Wilder can go from normal to purple is under 2 seconds.
Springtime for Hitler is … well you’ll just have to watch it.
krp
Three Simple Rules for Stealing My Money…
I believe there is a lot of fraud in high tech startups, 95 percent of which fail. With only a five percent chance of surviving, startups face a gauntlet of risks as described in this quote from uber-VC John Doerr in my show Nerds 2.01: A Brief Histor…
you can call your company: VisiBull
back in the early 80’s, the IT director where i worked had purchased an IBM PC on day 1 (to avoid borrowing my Apple II, which he hated) and VisiCalc, and was the only senior manager able to show up with spreadsheets at the meetings. my marketing vp friend remarked there should be a program for the rest of them where you could input your conclusions and how many pages of “documentation” you wanted, and it’d spew them out. he gave it this name, but we never used it; AFAIK it’s still available.
I consulted for a company called “Hometrade” in Vashi, India (near Mumbai.) I was an Non-Resident Indian brought in to save their incredibly awful financial content site.
The CEO was running another company called “Ways 2000”. He showed me the roadshow presentation that he was about to launch. It was a slick and pretty video presentation of cars driving through forests, and such. After it was over he asked what I thought. I said “It looks great! I still don’t understand what the company does.” He laughed uncomfortably.
He’s in jail, now. He was using both companies to try to manipulate one of the smaller stock market exchanges in India. Dude still owes me $40k.
A VC firm will sometimes invest in worthless companies, with the provision that the company pay the VC firm large “advisory” fees. So the VC firm is just recycling the investors funds into their pockets.
Firepower, an Australian company sold tablets to add to fuel that purported to improve fuel efficiency by 50%. Australian Govt Departments (Austrade) were even sucked in, they got $100M in investment. The CEO was arrested this morning.
It won’t fly. No VC will outsource due diligence. Besides, they already have staff to do exactly that, due diligence and they too have smart friends. Everybody fails some time or other, and so can you, so why would they hire you? For your smart friends, as opposed to theirs and their full-time staff?
Cringeworthy.
“Vensure” was my thought, but it’s already taken.
Your business would be perfect for a scammer, though! Don’t do any research, just declare the venture a bad investment and take your fee. You’ll be right 95% of the time, so who’s to say you’re faking it?
Cringely, you’re perfect for this endeavor, and such sweet irony.
Myself–1) read book, 2) contact author who says ‘I’m average guy but have smart friends’, 3) provide idea and practical application, 4) meet smart friends that ‘would never screw you’, 5) sign ‘agreements’, and 6) get screwed.
instead of ‘Silicon Valley’, more apt moniker should be ‘Silly Con Valley’. Let me know when consulting firm is up and running, I’ll submit first case study. But, I wouldn’t quit your day job.
We had a scam in Germany some years back that was not as straightforward as the ones you presented. It was called Cargolifter, and you might have heard of it. It started with a group of serious, but naive, technical people, who simply underestimated the effort involved in designing and certifying man-carrying airborne vehicles. After some years, the company had attracted some MBA types who gradually realized that their project would fail, and only then did they turn it into a scam to milk the last possible investor. Not the engineers, the MBAs did.
So the fifth rule would be: Use special care when MBAs and not engineers have the last word in a startup!
Regards,
Peter
Great idea. You start that one, and I’ll start a company that advises unfunded companies on how to raise their Cringely rating. Eventually we’ll merge the two and start rating companies the way Moody’s et al. rated SIVs. We’ll each make a mint without actually doing anything illegal.
“Yeah, Bob… where’s Nerd TV 2.0?”
It’s “in the can” and waiting to be “monetized.” Now there’s a startup project if ever I heard one: A method for monetizing web content. Let’s see, we could call it the Sequential Plan for Avulsing Money. You see, you have folks send you their email addresses and those of 100 of their friends and in return you let them watch one episode of NerdTV. You then use those addresses to send out millions of adverts selling a Cringely product on Amazon ….
You’ll be in direct competition with the major investment banks and VC’s. With no prior experience, and no securities license (?), and no law degree (?) — I’d say your business has less than a 5% chance of succeeding. Frankly, based on the writing I’ve seen here, your technical background isn’t strong enough either.
Bob, it’s a great idea.
Call it VentureRisk – tagline “Nothing Gained, Nothing Ventured”
Sadly, some energy company has registered the domain already….
You wanted technology startup fraud examples?
How about the biggest modern technology fraud in Australia?
Firepower sold a magic pill that was supposed to dramatically
increase gas mileage. They scammed millions from investors
and at least $400K from the Aussie government itself.
I would add one more class of risk: the Vanity Company. Specifically, the CEO or the head geek wants to prove that THEY are right, especially if everyone else said that their idea was not the best way. They would rather the company fail than succeed if that meant giving up control or the design. Borland is a great example, and I have worked for four other Vanity Companies as well.
I would love a job on a due diligence team: I can spot development bullshit a mile away. It makes interviewing hard because joining a company requires a lot of hope, and mine is worn down a bit.
A friend who was an insurance auditor said that, compared to waste, fraud is nothing.
Cheers
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I think you should definitely start the company… right after your robots start rolling on the moon.
What’s the old saying, “Never blame anything on fraud that can be caused by incompetence. It’s more common.”
You’ve forgotten that in the movie the investors wanted to believe. Many people want to be fooled.
Cross-linking spambots should be coded better. Having these two posts side by side is just *slightly* too obvious, no?
Bob, it’s a great idea.
Call it VentureRisk – tagline “Nothing Gained, Nothing Ventured”
Sadly, some energy company has registered the domain already…
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You’ll be in direct competition with the major investment banks and VC’s. With no prior experience, and no securities license (?), and no law degree (?) — I’d say your business has less than a 5% chance of succeeding. Frankly, based on the writing I’ve seen here, your technical background isn’t strong enough either.
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Are you going to rerun Cringely’s Predictions as a consultancy business? In near-violation of your 2012 Prediction no.8? Call me a cynic (and don’t let that stop any one of you ;-), but I suspect that people who should have consulted you will find hindsight is always 20/20 (repeatedly!). Which leads me to think you might be forced to rename your new company to http://www.i-told-you-so.com. (cfr Risk No.2.)
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